It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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