I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
