I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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