she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
