a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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