Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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