"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
