He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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