either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
