I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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