We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
