Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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