And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
