the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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