i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
