Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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