Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
