why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
