I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
