I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
