Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
