you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
