It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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