is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
