He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
