so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
