I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
