chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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