Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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