im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
