how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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