The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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