a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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