I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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