I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
