Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
