Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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