I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
