got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
