brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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