is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
