i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize