at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
