seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
