I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
