okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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