Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
