I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
