you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
