he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
