Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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