My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
