Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
