oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
